what if u walked into ur kitchen and kanye west was lovingly preparing cookies for u and quietly rapping to himself in a happy tone that would be so beautiful


no one man should have all that flour

(Source: vampirequeenarchives, via sirkyroo)

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Getting real sick of Tumblr’s “well, you don’t go through as much as other people do, so it’s okay to be completely malicious to you” attitude.

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Your honour. Members of the jury. Police security man guy. The Defendant. Me. The lady sitting in the fifth row with the weird hat. no I am not stalling for time

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  • me talking to little kids: oh hey man wow I like your shoes they light up! No way I wish I had some like that, I bet they make you run so fast!!
  • me talking to older people: I'm not really sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I figure that as long as I'm happy it can't be that bad
  • me talking to people my age: well howdily doodily my fellow young people, what's hip hop happening over here? I'm just off to inject a meth and listen to an MTV if you youngsters are 'down' also haha look at that lingo, golly gosh what a time to be alive
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hello is this necromancy done cheap?? i’d like to lodge a complaint, i ordered the blade of woe and was delivered a blade of whoa. now my ritual sacrifices are smoking all my weed and getting super invested in keanu reeves movies

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what if obama does the ice bucket challenge and nominates queen elizabeth

what if obama actually talks about what’s going on in ferguson

what if obama stopped exterminating the middle eastern population with drones

(via satanssecretblog)

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perfectic theme